Encountering passive-aggressive attacks?

𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞-𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚

Remember that a passive-aggressive attack is an unhealthy form of communication. The attacker can successfully hide behind their statement while placing their intended subject, and others, in a “no-win” situation.

In addition to the intended recipient, others who have the unfortunate experience of hearing or seeing the statement of attack are left wondering, “Is he/she talking about me?” This is especially true on social media because there are so many concurrent conversations.

Those subjected to the statement are in the uncomfortable position of knowing two things:

1.    If they confront the attacker (“Were you talking about me?”), there is a danger of looking “sensitive”, especially if the suspicion turns out to be false

2.    There is a high chance that the attacker will not admit to it anyway because they already didn’t have the courage to personally confront in the first place

𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐧𝐞𝐥. 

Here is how to handle feeling like you may be an intended target:

1.    Start with a prayer to forgive the emotionally unhealthy person. There are reasons that they may be making the statement that truly have nothing to do with you. Pray blessings on them.

2.    Examine yourself. If the statement has stopped you in your tracks or seems to be lingering in your thoughts (wondering if it was directed at you) “Lord, please let me know if there is something that I can learn from this. It doesn’t really matter whether this was meant for me or not. I want to know if there is any truth of this in my life or anything that I need to repent of before you.” Determine to learn something from it.

3.    Pray that you will NOT be drawn into ever communicating in a passive-aggressive way. It is damaging to both existing and potential relationships. 

4.    If this is coming from someone currently outside of your current circle of influence (such as social media), yield to the Lord and move on without retaliation. Pray again if that feeling wells up in your heart. This is all a part of abiding in Christ…and growing in wisdom and favor with God and man.

5. If this is someone with whom you are in direct contact, it is time to pray about whether there is a need to talk to that person yet or whether it needs to remain a matter of prayer. Again, another matter of abiding in Christ and trusting that He will give you wisdom and growth.

I'm praying for you today.